Saturday, July 30, 2016

Slaves to a Coffee Cup

When I was in elementary school, I learned this song. It's called coffee cannon, and it was my first ever vocal audition. I killed it, by the way. 



For those of you who won't watch the clip (you really should because it's awesome and funny) the lyrics go as follows:

"Coffee is not for me. It's a drink some people wake up with. That it makes them nervous is no myth. Slaves to a coffee cup, they can't give coffee up." 

The tune and words have stayed with me over the years as I've morphed into a slave to the coffee cup myself. I've developed a solid cup to two cups a day habit. On especially hairy days I've been known to polish off a whole pot. Blame it on the years of graveyard shifts.

I do have doctor's and intended parents' permission to continue to self caffeinate (so no hate mail, please) but I do try to temper my habit when expecting.  But it seems I've been asking the wrong people for permission in this pregnancy. Because apparently the cubs are 100% anti coffee. 

I've been increasingly sick the last two weeks or so. I've now puked three times... a number that comes close to matching the amount of vomiting I did in my prior pregnancies... combined. Every time coffee has been a factor. I've either just had it or smelled it. I've learned my lesson. Avoid coffee at all costs. 

This lesson has developed into a full fledged case of Tourrette's Syndrome. 
Allow me to explain. 

There I was just enjoying a delicious warm, cinnamon rich bread pudding topped with sweet caramel goodness. It was a perfect sweet that cried out for a bitter balance to complete the palate. So, at a table inside a well packed restaurant, I said, 

"This is delicious. I think I'll get a cup of coffeeNNOOOO!" 

Every head within 5 tables snapped to the crazy woman at table 6. My husband jumped. 

And this wasn't the last time this would happen in the next 24 hours. 

Just 12 hours later I awoke at a beautiful Equine farm bed and breakfast; my birthday gift. I walked out of our tack house accommodation to the front porch where I was greeted with a brisk breeze and the sweet aroma of morning dew. Out loud I said, 

"All I need to make this perfect is a cup of coffNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO"

I may or may not have startled a nearby rabbit. 

Sigh. Guess I'll go make myself a nice, warm cup of no, thank you.


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