I'm finding it difficult to focus on simply enjoying the last couple of weeks of this pregnancy as my brain floods with questions of, "what's next?" What can I say? It's just how I operate.
The most pressing "What's Next?" is how I will feel immediately following the birth.
I don't have a maternal bond and I feel very emotionally stable, so I'm not expecting to have a weepy depressive episode. But that fact that I don't "KNOW" precisely how I will feel is driving the control freak in me NUTSO.
Luckily I get a span of precious of time with the guys state side to "wean off" of this experience and them. At first I was afraid of this time for fear it would facilitate a deeper connection, but let's be honest, that connection is already there. Now I'm just grateful for that extended "see you soon" experience. We're even planning a trip out to the Coast to show the guys our beautiful shores. Wonder what they'll think of them in comparison to AUSTRALIA???
The next big "What's Next" is this summer.
Freedom! Freedom to travel again and to run again and to have a beer again and to squat without wobbling.... oh the freedom that's coming!! As for the summer planning though, that's all been pretty decided so it's just excitement. We have lots of camping planned, a cruise or two, I'm going to Vegas with my surro bestie, the Wayne Brady Experience (EEEEEEEK) and that's all between May and September. I'll be a busy gal.
Long term, I've also decided that I'm going to start marathon training again. My goal was always to run the ALS half in memory of my Grandpa. I had targeted the Chicago run previously but I am now closer to the San Diego event. So now It'll depend on where I can build my team I guess. If I recall correctly I need at least three runners on my team and a fundraising minimum of $2,000 to enter. I've always known all along I'd front our fundraising goal (well, when last I was training grandma had promised to do it. Now I'll just fulfill her promise myself) it's just finding the runners. So, if you're interested... Either way, I miss the run and it's time to do it again.
The elephant in the room... the biggest "What's Next?" What will my uterus do after this?
I get asked this a lot. I think about it probably even more. I get solicited occasionally. I have a fairly good idea of what I'd like my uterus to do next, and I know for certain what it won't be doing.
It won't be popping out another little Storer. And hopefully it won't be retiring either. Outside of that, there is still a lot that is left to fate between here and there. Another thing I have decided though, is that it's not open to man on the street solicitation. But that's another post for another time.
For now, I'm just trying to enjoy being pregnant just in case it is the last time I get to do this. Roughly 7 weeks left... but whose counting?