Sunday, February 16, 2014

I Didn't Expect To Feel This Way

Going into this I knew there might be times that emotions would sneak up on me. I worried that I might end up feeling attachment to the baby after all, or that I'd wind up really not liking the IPs, or that I'd feel let down over something.

Well, I don't feel any of that. I absolutely love M&T, I've never been let down, and the connection I feel to this baby is probably closer to how my nanny feels about my girls than to how I feel about my girls. So, that's a score.

But there is a feeling I'm having now that I did not expect to have. In reality it's kind of comical. When you consider that I'm carrying someone else's child and that I plan to hand her over in 87 days (more or less) that the issue I'm having revolves around ... of all things... travel restriction.

Note: In research for my blog here I came across some great quotes on travel. So I've shared some images with them attached. Hope you're not overwhelmed.

During the contracting phase of surrogacy you agree to all sorts of rules. No cheating on your medically cleared husband, no new tattoos at dodgy ink shops, no drugs or alcohol... and no extended travel beyond the point of viability.

My contract states that post 24 weeks I am not to travel more than one hours distance (which in Seattle could mean no further than the market down the street) or 50 miles from our pre-approved hospital. This is a GREAT rule. I actually agree with it a lot. I'm not mad about the rule. It ensures that in any scenario I can get to a great hospital on time and give this little Aussie the best shot at a great start as possible. And isn't that the whole goal here?

So, to sum it up, I am not mad about the rule. 
At all. 

There are exceptions to the rule as well. If I ask the guys permission and they consent, I could (theoretically) travel to Tibet next week. Don't worry guys, I won't ask that.

M&T have already given me consent to step a few miles outside of the boundaries for Super Bowl weekend. It was a non issue. They are great to me and I know if I really wanted to travel somewhere, they're down to Earth enough and trust me enough that no reasonable request would be denied.

So, to sum it up, I've never been told no.
 I'm not mad at the guys. 
At all. 

Yet I still feel like a caged bird with clipped wings. 
Truth is, I don't even feel deprived. There is nowhere specific I want to be right now that this surrogacy is keeping me from being. 

Here's the thing about me. I LOVE to travel. Like I could have been born a gypsy and found it AH-mazing. If I sit still in one place too long I start to twitch. And I get restless. And itchy.I just have to get on a plane and go SOMEWHERE.  I'm like an addict to a needle, I just have to GO. Apparently I'm not alone in this unquenchable thirst, and many call my condition Wanderlust.

Luckily, I'm also very talented at finding incredible deals, so my habit hasn't forced Chris and I into bankruptcy... yet...

The fact that if I wanted to travel right now I would have to jump through hoops to do it is making me twitch. Frankly, it's driving my husband bonkers too. Because the end result is that I spend (way) too much time on my travel networks planning upcoming trips.

I'm even planning theoretical trips that I know won't happen. Looking at destinations that aren't anywhere near my travel plans for the next 5 years. Yes, I sometimes plan that far out. (Australia and Africa are on the extended list.) You should have SEEN Chris's face last night when I mentioned safari...

During contracting the guys offered to extend my travel radius so that our favorite state park would still be an option. (74 miles from home). We camp there a lot, and I do miss tide pooling with Adelia quite a bit. I declined, and I don't regret it. It was the right choice for me as I learn to be a surrogate.

So, to sum it up, Not mad about the rule. 
Not mad at the guys. 
No regrets about not extending my radius. 

But... I'm still twitchy. I did NOT expect this. 

I've always known that God and body willing I'd do this surrogacy thing at least twice. I guess what I also now know is that next time... my contract will have to address travel in a way that doesn't make me feel so claustrophobic.


  1. I don't think I have any restrictions in my contract about traveling... except that I can't travel to unfriendly surro states. I guess I should check on that before I head out on all our trips, but I know I'll be close to good hospitals. IM is even going on one of our 5 hour trips with us. At least she'll be there if anything happens. Haha! I'll admit I'm getting stir crazy that I can't leave the country though.

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