Monday, January 6, 2014


I don't have a maternal connection to this baby. 

Yes. It really is THAT simple. 

Yes, I love her. But not in the way I love my girls. Instead, I think I'd liken how I feel towards her most closely to how I'd feel about a niece, or in my case, my goddaughter Lucy.

Yes, there is a connection. Just not the kind of connection anti-surrogacy folk expect there to be. She and I, we've shared something special. It deserves a connection.

As happy as I am to be carrying her, I'll be happier still to put her into the arms of her PARENTS.

Even so, it was so surreal and strange to receive a copy of the birth plan. No surprises in there. I "got" everything I wanted in the process. But ... blink your eyes for me.


That's how quickly the buck will be passed. 

The moment that little lady is out of me, I am relieved of all responsibility and expectation. Her well being is no longer any of my concern. Whereas birth is usually the very START of the parenting marathon, for me it marks the finish line.


I don't want there to be confusion over this- I am not depressed about this quick change. I don't have any negative feelings surrounding it. In fact, I kind of look forward to it.


Whereas for the previous 10 or 11 months I was expected to take pills on time, inject medications on time, refrain from certain activities, not travel past a certain point, get enough sleep and exercise, not expose myself to dangerous conditions or items. Avoid roller coasters. No alcohol or oysters. And then...


It's all over. 
That quickly. 

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