Thursday, July 25, 2013

God's Got My Backside.

I was just meditating and thinking about how nervous I am for my injection medicines. Not so much the Lupron, because it goes into fatty tissue. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think it will be too bad.

The intramuscular shots though...the ones that go into my backside... I'm terrified of those. Maybe it's because the directions tell me to:

  • Get Comfortable
  • Relax your muscles
  • Take a deep breath
  • Don't vomit. 

OK- I made the last one up. But really, it wouldn't surprise me at all if it was on the list. When medical instructions basically prepare you for immense pain, it's scary.

So here I am .. nervous, scared, intimated, overwhelmed and dreading it. Dreading all 7 intramuscular shots.

I was trying to convince myself that no matter how bad the shots were, there were only 7. And then there would be a baby. And then there would be a family. I could do this. I could survive this.

Then I realized 

I was going at this the completely wrong way. 

I believe that God brought me to surrogacy. I believe that God is faithful and will never leave our sides. I believe that the good He has done, and the seeds He has planted, He will see it through. I believe that doubt and deception are the tools of the Devil.

To allow that fear and doubt into my heart is to tell God that I don't trust His plan for my life. It's like telling God I don't trust Him. It's like telling my Savior that I know whats best for me better than He does.

As I often do at these Epiphany moments, I turn to the bible for inspiration. I found this verse, smacking me over the head like an anvil from an old cartoon:

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him,
    and He will make your paths straight.

...And This...

Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
    my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
    and with my song I praise Him.

So, as I have chosen to do for so many years, I choose to trust God. I choose to trust Him and His calling on my life. 

Because God has always had my back. 
And now He has my backside, too. 


  1. Pssst.... I hate to be the one to break the bad news, but there are waaaaaay more than 7 of the butt shots. But you can do it!

  2. You're on the butt shots for weeks and weeks, honestly. But there are ways to make them less painful. Ask me tomorrow in chat :)

  3. Are they after transfer? Maybe I am reading the calendar wrong

  4. Yes, after transfer. You are on injections until between 9 and 12 weeks gestation.

  5. You continue estrogen after transfer and start the progesterone injections a few days before transfer. Those also continue after transfer and are daily. This is rough math, but I would guess there are close to 100 injections by the time you're released from meds. You can do it!

  6. Ms. Mandy - yes, sorry, but LOTS more than 9 will happen....Ugh! You should get a new schedule after transfer. :) I seriously ice my injection area for several minutes,then have my husband do it. I think the ice helps. I would be scared doing it without the ice. I even went and got ice from the machine the night before the transfer. :)

  7. WHOA WHOA WHOA, EVERYONE!!! Why are you telling her this... Let her be blissfully ignorant. She just came to peace with the 7 shots!