Quite often I am asked, "Why don't they just adopt?" when people learn I am a carrier for someone else's child. The short answer is, "None of your business." The long answer is a bit more involved.
While adoption is a beautiful thing, it isn't right for everyone. And I don't believe that all families who can't have a baby the natural way should be forced into this one alternative option.
A surrogacy allows for a biological link to the child. It allows for the celebration of milestones in the pregnancy. It allows the parents to have, if not a direct say, an input on the conditions in which their child will be "baked".
There are tons of other reasons why a family may choose surrogacy over adoption (or vice versa) but the real answer is- it's just not your business. Adoption vs. surrogacy... both are difficult decisions for a family struggling to have a child. Rest assured that whatever choice was arrived at, it was done with tears, heart and tons of thought. Just respect it.
It is frustrating and angering for me as a surrogate to have to defend those who choose this method to start their family. It must be downright infuriating to intended parents to have their family making decisions put in the spotlight.
The surrogacy community is tight knit. Through a friend I have found and begun following an intended mother who blogs. Here she talks about why she is using a surrogate. I agree with her thoughts, so I thought I'd share them.