Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The Ultrasound, a mixed bag

We had our ultrasound today to check on the IUD device. I walked in feeling like I was a contestant on that old game show, Press Your Luck (no whammies no whammies no whammies!) I had a dream last night that when I went in today, they say not one but two babies in me. It was  catastrophic for us and where we thought our life was headed. Chris says the dream was just a premonition that our next pregnancy (the surrogacy) will be twins.  At the end of the appointment, I am left feeling a bit of mixed emotion. Here's Why.

***Warning, Biological talk coming***

The Good
According to Dr. Little, I have a "textbook" uterus for an IUD device. His exact words were, "It couldn't look any better if it tried." Which is great news. It means that there are no babies in there now, and won't be until we're ready. My uterus is large enough for the device and accepting it well. This makes me happy as this is the easiest, most pain free birth control I've ever been on. It. Is. Amazing.

The Bad??? Maybe the indifferent...
The IUD is able to be left in place for up to 10 years. Dr. Little asked me how long I planned on leaving it in, and I told him anywhere from 12-18 months. I reminded him that we want to be a surrogate family sometime next year. To which he said, "Well, your uterus is greatly tipped." He didn't say if that was a pro or con for me.. but it left me feeling very nervous.I have been told and read that just because you were able to birth your own children, doesn't mean you're an ideal candidate for surrogacy.. I did a quick internet search and found opposing articles. Apparently only 20% of women have a titled uterus... and I am troubled by Dr. Littles inflection of "very titled". Some of the articles say the inclined uterus means its difficult to place an egg inside, others saying it should have no effect. Here is a pretty nuetral article.

Anyway, that's the round up on my visit. Kids are sleeping, better go clean house or log in and do some work while I can.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The First Ultrasound

Chris and I have a doctors appointment on Thursday the 15th to go in for our first ultrasound in the surrogacy process. I can't believe it is happening already!

While we will be having an ultrasound a week from right now, the purpose is not to see a baby. In fact, if we DO see a baby, well, the entire surrogate process will be put on hold for another two years (if ever) because it would mean Chris and I were pregnant with a third. We don't see that in our plan, so we hope that there is no baby!

Now Im going to talk about things that might be over sharing, too biological or otherwise discomforting to some. So If I lose you here- peace out, :)

A month or so ago we had Paraguard inserted. It's a copper composed IUD (inter-uterus device) used as birth control. Next Thursday's ultrasound is to make sure the device has settled into my uterus properly and that it is not posing any danger to me or my future child bearing potential. These risks are incredibly minuscule. The docs just check as standard procedure.

Using this method of birth control seemed pretty favorable for the next twelve months as it will allow my body to return to normal ovulation. Several other IUD devices or some hormonal birth control pills can slow or stop a woman's regular cycle. We need to have at least two regular cycles charted before we can being the syncing process, so a birth control method that alters what my body doesn't naturally would slow our process even more. Plus, I just don't think it's natural to mess with nature. I like that monthly reminder that I'm not pregnant. :)

That said, I find myself feeling some anxiety over the scan. In the very tiny chance that this device has lodged in my uterine wall or punctured my uterus, I could lose the ability to carry a child to term. This isn't a huge loss for Chris and I as a family, as we feel our family is complete... but it would completely derail what I feel God is calling me to do for others. I know God is in control, and that means that the scan will go perfectly. Even so, there is that tiny fraction of a chance that my journey could end before it even begins.

I've also been thinking a lot lately about my intended parents. I wonder where they currently are in their fertility process. If they're even considering surrogacy yet? If they've thought at all about me and what I will be like. It's interesting to me to know that together, these two families can come together to create such an incredible bond and a new life. But right now we don't even know one another. That some day we will be so intricately intertwined in one another's lives. Right now were on two completely different life tangents. Right now they're likely very stressed over infertility and Im stressing over my first steps in helping them. Yet we've yet to truely begin looking for one another. Reminds me of that movie Sliding Doors.

Any how, those are my baby to share thoughts for right now.