Today on the Today Show, Guilianna Rancic told the world that after a long run with infertility, she and husband Bill are planning to welcome a baby into the world via gestational surrogate.Here's the Clip
As a disclaimer, I think this is awesome news, and wish them nothing but the best. I was happy to have caught the segment. It did get me thinking about my own journey though, and a couple of the pet peeves I'm already forming. For example:
Have Some Respect
Ann Curry had a laugh over a celebrity having a "baby momma" and asked how it worked. First of all let me just say that I really dislike calling a surrogate a "baby momma." Honestly, that term has become synonymous with a half witted, drama prone woman that the other biological parent doesn't want to deal with. That kind of relationship is far from what I hope to have with my Intended Parents. So, in cause you're reading this later on, IP's, please don't call me that.
I feel like surrogates are going through a LOT of emotional highs and lows with the hormone injections, the transfer process, the pregnancy itself, and then handing a baby over. I feel a surrogate deserves respect. And to me, being called a "Baby Momma" just aint' respectful.
Just because a woman has sex, doesn't mean she'll have sex with everyone.
Just because I desire to be a surrogate, doesn't mean I'll have your baby.
Maybe it's because I am already on this path for myself and I understand the importance of finding the right match, but I felt she gave the air of the matching process being as simple as finding a woman in the produce section of your local grocery store.
I am not walking around wearing a t shirt that reads, "womb for rent." Just because I am willing and desiring to become a surrogate does not mean I'm willing and desiring to do it for any old Joe on the street.
When I told me OBGYN about our decision a few weeks ago (to ask for local resources and his experience with surrogacy), the nurse in the room actually stayed back when he left to ask if I'd be her carrier . It was honestly so awkward. I hadn't even begun to think about my preference for the location of my Intended Parents, and to be put on the spot like that was downright weird. Truly, she didn't even tell me her name before diving into her infertility story. I wound up saying we were long from the start of the process and that I was sure she'd have a child before I was ready to begin. I feel for her, but what a burden to drop on my feet.
I'm not really angry, though as I re-read this I sure sound it. I just want to make sure I find the right fit in Intended Parents. And I don't take it lightly.