Saturday, April 21, 2012

Welcome to our Journey

Chris and I have begun sharing our decision to become a surrogacy family with many of our friends and family members. Although only met by support, we also encounter a lot of questions. I decided to start blogging about the process not only as a diary for us, but also to keep everyone updated on our journey. 

For My Intended Parents
My hope is that in the future, hopefully about a year from where we are now, when we are matched with our Intended Parents (those whose child I will be carrying) they can review this blog and see that my journey to find them started long before we ever exchanged words. I hope that when you read this (my IP's) you'll learn about Chris, Adelia, Emrys and I and that my words here will help you to feel secure in choosing us to help start and grow your family. 

For everyone else out there... here's a round up of 
Where We Are And how We Arrived Here
Adelia was born February 14, 2010. Shortly after that I began to feel a pull and whisper from God about what he wanted me to do with my life. I really didn't mind pregnancy, and despite a rather violent birth (25 stitches!), I didn't even mind the child birth experience. I began to pray over and consider becoming a surrogate. I didn't tell anyone, not even my husband. I wanted to talk with God about it for awhile first. Plus, Chris and I knew we wanted to have more kids. 

When we found out we were pregnant with Emrys, God's whisper became more of a direct instruction. It was louder and more urgent. I decided it was time to tell Chris that I had been considering surrogacy. It had been about a year, and I felt fairly sure it was a process I wanted to move forward with. I also knew that his reaction to the news would greatly influence where we went next. I was so pleased to find that he supported me! For the next nine months we talked and prayed over the decision and applied aspects of my current pregnancy to a hypothetical surrogacy in the future. I really feel as though it helped us to consider the pros and cons of this decision. 

After the birth of Emrys (Jan. 15, 2012) Chris and I knew our family was complete. But I felt equally as strongly that I was in no way done being pregnant. To me, this was our sign that God intended to use me to help others grow their family. We decided to begin telling our friends and family about our decision to move forward in the process. We expected to be met with criticism and a few nay-sayers. Imagine my shock to find only support from our friends, family and church. To us, this is just another sign that this is indeed God's plan in action. 

What's Next
To date we've contacted an agency and read a book on preparing for this journey. Although I have found an agency and a mentor to work with (Hello, Anna!) we know that I can not start the process of psychological and physical screening until I am done breastfeeding Emrys. That (Hopefully) will be in roughly 12 months when she's about 12-15 months old. In the meantime Chris and I have a lot of legwork to do, building a road map of characteristics we hope our Intended Parents will have and the views we hope they will have surrounding controversial issues like selective reduction, amniocentesis, and multiples. We need to decide how we feel about these issues as well. 

I do not think we will post much about these decisions on the blog as they are deeply personal, not only to us but also to the intended parents out there. I don't want our views to be too public as it could skew the matching process, and it could also reveal more about this couple than they're comfortable sharing. So, those details may not be revealed for quite some time if ever. It is important to me to protect their privacy as well as our own in this emotional process. 

What I am Expecting
A baby! Ha! Seriously, I am expecting a rewarding journey that will be God guided. That's not to say I expect it to be an easy journey. I know it will be emotional and tearful. I am dreading exactly two things already:
1. IVF and Fertility Treatments
2. The 72 hours after birth and before the baby leaves me

I know this journey will be difficult. But I also believe it will be life changing and make my life have a purpose beyond anything I could imagine. I feel this is God's calling on my life. While I do have fear entering this process, I do it with Him as my guide. I have a lot of faith in His divine guidance. My old pastor, Craig Fourman, once told me that, "God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called." To say I am fearless leading into this is a lie. But as my grandpa always told me, "Fear and faith can not co-exist. You have one or the other." So I am trusting God. After two years of feeling His Call and purpose for me, I am trusting His will and starting this journey. 

Happy reading!

1 comment:

  1. This is a beautifully written post Mandy. I wish you and Chris the best of luck in the future. I hope that in a years time, you are matched with a wonderful set of intended parents and are able to make all their dreams come true! May God bless you for being willing to give someone the ultimate gift.