Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Finding Our Rhythm & A note on Intended Mothers

Journey #2.
It's been a long road, friends.

But, I am pleased to report that after spending nearly 6 months in the early stages, things are finally finding their rhythm. I am formally matched, and working on finalizing legal agreements this week. From there things tend to get very busy very quickly, and the hope is to be pregnant by the end of the year.

I spoke previously about having concerns about finding my stride in a second journey. I didn't want to find myself comparing the two families against one another; especially considering how incredibly lucky I was in my first match.

The good news is that this journey has already begun to mold itself into something different than my first experience. It has a different feel, a different breath to it. That said, it's not a bad difference... it's just apples and oranges. For the first time in months I'm feeling like I will wind up creating two families with two romance stories that are unique to one another. This match has a different cadence, but it's a good one. I'm feeling solid, and sure footed. I'm excited to move forward.

I recently had the opportunity to speak about my experiences at a second FTS (Families Through Surrogacy) conference, this one in San Francisco, CA. I want to take a moment to speak to the Intended Mothers out there. While, after much self examination, I have decided that my role in this world is to carry for gay male couples, I just have to say that it's these women who move me to tears.

Had I not been able to so easily conceive, what lengths would I have gone to in order to create my own family? Would I have been brave enough to stare societal misgivings in the face and explore surrogacy? I don't know.

But these women, they're rocks,  and man- I admire them. Society tells women that in order to be a "real woman" we need to bear children. So the women who wind up at these conferences, they're dealing with emotional pain, societal discord, and personal struggle, but yet they're so strong, so determined to become mothers, that none of this can stop them. They're going to have a family, and that's that. These women are so admirable and simply blow my mind.

Mommas, you amaze me. You rock.

Up next, we'll chat about the pending medical cycle!